This is what he said to me over ym today. He is from Kenya and now lives in Perth, Australia.

[15:26] billy kipruto: hope u r well.still migrating to Oz in 2011?
[15:27] cheyennekyla: am praying for it.
billy kipruto: great to hear God spoils you with choices
[15:29] billy kipruto: I know u will be well wherever u r bse u r a child of a King

I cannot thank the Lord enough for the enormous gift . The gift of choices.

I don’t say this everyday but the Lord knows what is clogging in my mind for months now.

I am actually in a middle of dilemmas that sometimes I just ignore it so that I don’t get too taxed about it. But each time I see a new born, a pregnant mom, a new addition, I can’t help but stop, think and do some reality check with myself. When am I ready to conceive our 2nd child when i have a dozen box of pills in my cupboard. I feel so selfish.

Such decision is delayed due to a supposedly blessing which becomes a source of dilemma. A new job.
A job that after 3 months of joining has restored my sanity. A job that looks and feels promising. I don’t vie for promotion— but this time , i have loved the kind of contribution I could bring to this role. I am keen to grow here.

And this job led to another confusion —on the right time to move to Australia given that we were blessed with a PR visa. I can’ t help but get excited to a new adventure!

so my prayer is ….” God grant me a clear mind so I could decipher your direction , not my will Lord but yours” AMEN.

I am in great awe of HIS blessings to me and my family.

If only I could stay at this moment of time—–I will stand still. But that would mean, I have stopped living.

Hence, I will let the angels fly with me to continue this joyful journey and majority of my wishes go to living a peaceful life and that I will continue

1. to be strong so no one can ruin my state of happiness
2. to pray in thanksgiving and humility
3. and to be reflective as I walk on to this life———life of HOLINESS if am allowed to reach it.

As I stepped on my 32nd year on earth—I want to be more conscious of the commitments I made and will be looking at how it is in syncs to the bigger picture of my existence. It does sound complicated but I want life to be more SIMPLE this time— I need more self restraint.

It’s a promise to myself and I will start with FACEBOOK ( oh, how it diverts me from what really matters)

I am expecting a withdrawal syndrome

AGOSTO.
As early as now—-I can’t help but immerse myself in thanksgiving of the enormous blessings God showered to my Earthly Life! I am turning 32 and felt like 23! Just kidding. I was 23 once and will forever be,the amount of maturity I went through from 23 to 32 was amazing and yeah…am so blessed with experiences, the right level of interactions , people, circumstances that led me to who I am now.

I am Karen…..close to 32 now.

And I wish for this. Bwahahhaha…. ( ambisyosa!)

At bakit gumawa ang KIA ng CARENS car, napaisip tuloy ako.

to look forward to.
Frankly, the money is a different story- of course, it is important to pay off bills and operational expenses here in Singapore. I enjoy the cheap foodie, cheap groceries, cheap transpo . Don’ t get me wrong . Singapore is not cheap in terms of survival. But with me and Chuck working together to pull resources, we have enough to survive. Send Chy to school, generously share and plan for our future.

So, right now, am not stopping the train yet. Am just taking a detour for 2 weeks and will be back on track.
I wanted to clear my mind on what to do for the 2 weeks that I will be off to pamper myself. I will be busy——-and this is how I pamper myself.

1. Arrange my closet. It’s been messy these past days. My bags are everywhere. My clothes need to be properly categorized so I could see everybody——ahihihihi. I will be doing some unloading too.

2. I will visit IKEA for some home stuffs…I want to transform our living room. Put serenity effect to it. A rug maybe and do some color coordination. Whatever my budget could afford.

That is in the assumption that I get the flat on our own & rule over it. I am such a cruel ruler even dada cannot comprehend. Hahhaha… Can’t wait to see it homey. yay!

3. Catch up with my moments alone. I will run!

Oh yeah..I just miss myself. I will be very intimate with myself. I owe it to her.

A sweet friendship refreshes the soul.” Proverbs 27:9 (MSG)

Aidah posted on her FB profile that she looks forward to have breakfast with me today to listen to my stories of Sydney. I thanked her for the favor. Seemed to me that “listening” is the hardest you can get from people nowadays.

It reminded me of some convo that I excitedly share and I was shoved away —which leads me to a very bad impression of which I am trying to get over with. I can always give people the benefit of the doubt and will have to be satisfied that Life is full of sweet surprises like what I got from Aidah this morning.

Btw—–this sort of a warning to us. We normally dry up our pants outside our flat and yesterday, it was stolen. Goodbye Dada’s Levi’s.

PRIMARILY of the things that happened to my LIFE that I don’t PLAN nor DREAM of.

Like;
1. working abroad
After having a boyfriend who pursued a seaman course and having had to experience with my seaman cousin’s wife , I told myself , I will never marry someone who will work far from where I am. I can’t stand to see my daughter grow with a virtual dad.

But I ended up marrying someone who works abroad and that’s an irony of life because you cannot tell your heart whom to marry, it comes and there is no escape and no amount of reasoning can comprehend the irony. I took that leap and face the consequences.

And one of those is to settle in a country away from my comfort zone. I had to say, change is good. I did compromised my ideals but not the principle behind it. It my case, it was “everywhere Lord basta magkasama kami”. Every decision we made—was geared towards that end in mind. We will never be living separately from each other. I don’t say what is ideal to me is ideal to others- so I don’t mean to offend , we have separate journeys , different paths to take.

2. Financially fit
I don’t say I am rich. Or maybe I am–am richly blessed with the non-monetary terms in life of which I am forever grateful. It comes mostly with the people factor –my family, friends, my not so friends ( challenges i mean) and they made this life extra colorful.

In monetary terms, we have never been financially fit. I remembered back when Chuck and I are still starting, I had to pawn my precious necklace to Cebuana to survive the next payday. How tough was that. Our dates were spent on some mcdo counters for a P5 ice cream cones. I got so broke that my credit card bill was enormous. I only survived the minimum payment which made me even poorer. I refused to marry Chuck back then as I was indebted but he readily paid all my debts and I promised to pay him back, although he really didn’t bother—it is impt for him to marry me. But now, I think I can pay him back—-and he would give me his frowned face.
Hahhahah.

Now–credit card companies is unhappy of my payment behavior as I have been paying in full and they couldn’t charge me finance charges, interests, etc. I learned it the hard way and resolved to be debt free!

3. To be a PR of 2 countries!
Becoming a Permanent Resident of 2 countries is beyond my imagination. Although we are still not in the verge of giving up one, but just being is such a fortune minus the confusion of course. See, the reason why I was confused in the first place because I mix up my drive with my comfort zone until it gets un-pure. It boils down to wanting to be at one place as a family and both countries can satisfy that. But there seemed to be an audacious plan out there outlined for me and my family and if we don’t give it a try—I will never know. I am clear–I am not going to Australia to pursue money and the material stuffs. I will be there for the purpose the Lord is in store for me. And because it is unknown , I will be forever excited looking forward to it! You must be frowning now—am a risk taker.

But that’s me. I am yet to know Chuck and Chy’s thoughts over the matter—I will respect whatever it is.

But as for me, I am really ASTOUNDED but can’t afford to be wordless now as I am filled with THANKSGIVING!

note: I suppose to publish this last year, i kept it left hanging in my drafts.
Anyway, this is still worth for posting.

Day 5 - AWARDS

Need I say more? I wanted an iTouch so much and I had it for free! I had the chance to went up to Mainstage- happy and proud to be a mom, married and Filipino! Yey! We can do it too!

The bar was open till twelve midnight but I wasn’t drinking —–I went to bed early that night as I need to attend another session in the next day specific for APJ region. My dream is on shopping again.

I am dreaming of another Coach Bag.
My daughter’s dress.
Our move to Disney Hotel!

Day 6- SESSION

Boring. Technical stuffs and hey Anand- the worldwide boss came and put everyone on hotseat! Gosh…he is damn scary. Glad he doesn’t know me since am only one year in this org. Starbucks coffee was all over the place again—I needed it to keep me awake! I am not engaged in this session.
Hahhaha….. I am thinking of my career path…and my wish to go back to Financial Analysis in the coming days. I know am good at it and not the Operational part which is eating up 70% of my time!

Day 7 - Disney Century Pop

Is our new hotel.
We need to pack our bags move to a new hotel , then hit the Premium Outlet. Do you feel happy when you shop for other people? I certainly believe that you can’t give what you don’t have—-meaning to say….if you are done shopping for yourself, you need to shop for others…No further stuffs for yourself. Hehhehehhe…Swear! Giving is fun! Shop while your credit card is aching.

This month, I will be paying SGD5k for my credit card- half of that bill is the plane fare for Australia! And that huge bill is giving me 7 free spa certificates next year. So, dada and I will have free trips to the spa next year!

Day 8 - To the DisneyWorld!

It would be more fun if my daughter was around. Yes, I felt like a child again. The castle is magnificent. And I could imagine my daughter feeling like a princess here.

Day 9 - Long trip

I wish I could shortcut the long hours in the plane and so I see my family again. I dread the 30 hours but I thank I was safe. I missed my mom’s bday in Singapore but so glad that my sis is there to keep her entertained. My hubby was at the airport to meet me. Thank you, dear.

PS. Photos to follow……………

excitement until it is Paranoia.
Yep, the package I was talking about on my post yesterday was sent to selected few peeps of the 1800 worldwide, …hehehhehe…and I had to track it through Fedex tracking - and this is what it showed me.

Gosh, the box weighs 1.4kg, oh,and so my paranoia triggers- can it be the HP Mini 110 Studio Tord Boontje Notebook that I wanted? My gosh, am too excited. Stop me! Just for the record- I wanted the iTouch so much- and was planning to buy it in US in my recent trip, I only dreamt of 16gb but I ended up getting the 65gb for FREE! Now, here’s another —-something to look forward to. Haaay..I don’t like to be expecting too much but can’t stop myself. So, I googled the specs; tada….

It only weighs 1.07k so, the remainder could be for the power cords, accessories, etc…Hahhahhaa..paranoid to the highest level jud ko.

I promised myself to journalize this trip but given the limited time, I had to skip writing lately.

Day 1- TIRED ( Friday)
Arrival from a 25- hour trip

Hotel dinner
So tired and felt so dried up, can’t wait to sleep and see my bed.

Quick Registration at the counter
Look forward to sleeping. Gosh, Rosen Shingle Creek Hotel’s bed and pillows are so comforting, can’t wait to doze off the very moment i hit the bed. Nice!

Day 2- PLEASURE FIRST (Saturday)

Shopping @ Prime Outlets

Also, this day, I was informed that I have to pay first for all my official expenses and have it reimbursed by my company, hence, credit limit should be ensured. I called my credit card company and requested to increase my limit, got positive response- I am well covered

Welcome Dinner @ 6pm. This is my first encounter of overflowing Starbucks coffee/ tea, honey, etc…..

Imagine 1800 HP employees from one busn unit gathered together in one place- Asian is a minority in the population though, hence, we are easily spotted and we can’t sneak out

The best time to reconnect with my virtual teams. Teams I worked with but haven’t really met personally. Virtual indeed. The Biz Ops Team is based all over the APJ.
HK, Korea, China, Australia & Singapore

( photo to follow here)

Day 3 - SUNDAY’s BIG WAVE

The mainstage is introduced to us. High spirits, positive energy. Informative, fun and we were introduced to the world of surfing parallel to the idea of Teamwork. Very creative…Kodus to Peak Team! I was actually inspired. Hmmm…at the back of my mind, am thinking of my Resignation. Hahahhaha…

Overflowing Starbucks coffee again ( too bad, there are no stickers here for the planner.hheheheh)

And the highlight is the Universal Studios- we had the Marvel Island on our own. Ride all you can but I can only afford to ride the roller coaster once…It was damn a ride of a lifetime!
Day 4 - BUFFET BREAKFAST

No…I am trying to put my weight down and w/ these foodie- it is almost impossible. Actually, I was tempted and I am guilty.

This day, they announced all the awards night nominees and they got my name on it. There were 7 in my category and it comes from the nominations from colleagues, managers, around the globe. Ok, am elated! but wasn’t expecting much.
Today was rather serious- enablement trainings on the run , it was very refreshing though- learning and re-learning it. Hmmm…good for me, am getting open minded nowadays. I don’t have much of a choice. I like the sessions though, it was concise and a breeze- hehehe.

Dinner at Cuba Libre with the all the Ops Team worldwide. Red wine is good. Spent the rest of the night with Gigi- my colleague from China.

I’d rather keep this short- will post for the remaining days…..I am excitedly using my Pink Coach bag.

Am mesmerized- doing my readings, researches, etc. Mixed emotions. I am working from home ( again ) today so I can do my other research of Australia! I can’t wait to step on the land of Oz next year.

It would be an adventure for my family. Yeah..in February we have one goal in mind- to familiarize the country and imagine—it is HOME.
Imagine Chy furthering her studies with various options, she could be a member of Hi-5! And I could procreate a younger generation- we could drive around the country , spend bbq nights with friends while our kids are playing in the backyard. Hahhahhaa…Wake me up, I am dreaming!

Can’t wait.

In addition, am also excited of my US trip on Friday. Am currently drooling on Coach Bags ( forgive my vanity!) but yeah..i could buy 2. Wake me up, am dreaming all over! hahhahahha

She has fever ( again ).
It started last Friday till Saturday- then it was gone and today it recurs. She is taking antibiotics ( from doc’s prescription) since last weekend although personally I don’t like her taking anti-b, there have been readings I made that anti-b is not the only cure and doctors should stop giving this out. I don’t want my baby to create a certain resistant until antibiotic will not work on her body anymore. God, pls spare - pls keep my baby healthy. She is peacefully sleeping while am writing this. Chuck had to work for tonight- duty calls, as if he is nurse, can’t say no- he’s got no choice.

I stared at her, she is beautiful and the I recalled the beautiful things she astound me and Chuck of. She is a super blessing, a gift is an understatement. She is a grace. She is far more than I imagined to deserve.

Her milestones.
She came her when she was 4, a year has passed and she changed a LOT!
At 5, she could read, loves books, loves imagining and loves story telling. I feel like she might be a great artist growing up- which ever field she belongs to- there is an artistic aura in her I could sense. She doesn’t like the norm- she is very tedious, detailed and sometimes different or maybe unique. She is sweet, observant, conversant, interactive and lovely.

Goodnight, my Chy.

PS- I thank God that He pours all the wonderful opportunity for us to be in 1 place as a family. This is what we dream about. Lord, we honor you by living into this unending grace every day.

All done!
1. Letter to Canada immigration in Manila for our withdrawal of application - they will come back to me on the eligibility of my refund . I hope they give back the PHP56k. Pls..I waited for 4 years without any results yet. Pls, I plead. I hope I am still lucky. I can’t resist comparing this to my Oz application. How slow this one was and how fast Oz was! Lucky to have granted our visa in 1 yr and 7 months! Fabulous!

2. Oz visa evidence on our passports- done in less than 30 mins. Wow…Very efficient, I sort of cannot resist comparing their processes to my country’s embassy. Like I waited for an hour to collect my renewed passport last month. And it was just mere collection.

3. Tickets to Australia- although I haven’t really sorted out whether am still with HP by that time or I would have leave credits, we booked the tickets anyway. It is Singapore Airlines at their promo rates- I can’t resist! And men—-the accommodation on this airline is a knock out! I don’t mind the Airbus 380. Hahahha. And for a 7 hour flight - it is something we are giggling of. We are USD1700 poorer though.

4. Tickets to HK via CEBU PACIFIC - Well, it was the one -peso sale so, I don’t mind paying USD100 for a round trip ticket for 3 ( SG-MLA-HK-MLA) Imagine! It is for 3! It would be Chuck’s bday celebration!

5. Samsonite at 40% off. Whew. Chuck was very aggressive when he decided for this. He said- ” I don’t mind paying the bucks- we will be traveling a lot! ” We got it as soon as my US visa was approved.

Lord, there is one thing- Pls keep us safe in all our flights. And pls guide our pilots along the way. These are long flights, pls don’t make them sleep and pls. guide them not to forget to land to their airport of destination. ( I refer to the latest incident of QantasNorthwest pala)

i feel for my bros and sis get stuck in Manila.
i extremely feel sorry and saddened by the impact of this catastrophe.
i cannot imagine the state of little children and their plight to being cold, wet and homeless.

on the other hand,

i am “kilig” over the PDA of Nicole ( from PCD) and Hamilton before the F1 race last night. Chweetness.
i am giggling over Alexa’s smile
i miss the feel of a huge bedroom ( and wish to have a flat tv in it)

just in time.

i feel like heaven has felt what am going through, it felt like a dejavu.

*** the down-side is , we are not buying the lcd tv soon. but looking at long-term vision, I can’t resist but get excited over it………………….

Thanks, Lord for this life of choices!