I don’t say this everyday but the Lord knows what is clogging in my mind for months now.

I am actually in a middle of dilemmas that sometimes I just ignore it so that I don’t get too taxed about it. But each time I see a new born, a pregnant mom, a new addition, I can’t help but stop, think and do some reality check with myself. When am I ready to conceive our 2nd child when i have a dozen box of pills in my cupboard. I feel so selfish.

Such decision is delayed due to a supposedly blessing which becomes a source of dilemma. A new job.
A job that after 3 months of joining has restored my sanity. A job that looks and feels promising. I don’t vie for promotion— but this time , i have loved the kind of contribution I could bring to this role. I am keen to grow here.

And this job led to another confusion —on the right time to move to Australia given that we were blessed with a PR visa. I can’ t help but get excited to a new adventure!

so my prayer is ….” God grant me a clear mind so I could decipher your direction , not my will Lord but yours” AMEN.

of INSPIRATION would have been FACEBOOK.
But to some, it is a source of SPECULATION, GOSSIP, JUDGEMENT, and worse ENVY.

A husband and wife could break their relationship over FB, same with lovers.

An emotion can build up over it, sadly negative emo, depending which one you pick up.

A clean conscience can get rusty.

I will be saying goodbye to FB soon, not shutting down my account though but limit my squandering in the network. I would want a healthier choice– like watching KIMORA: Life in the Fab Lane! Can’t stop but somehow compared it to Kimmy Dora’s lifestyle!

My sister and I can’t stop laughing.

Kaya, LOL!!!! bwahhahaha…

On this note however, FB has helped me recognize who among my friends I could run to —mainly because I felt they needed someone to talk to and enjoy with or just spend the day with . Stream of emotions over there. Both good and bad.

I therefore conclude that social networking such as FB is IN!

My latest profile pic– i like….am inspired to get married again. saan kaya? nyahahahhaha!!!

I certainly am.

Some bad habit to break.

Goodbye!

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I love my life and I won’t allow you mess with it. I am doing this because I want to be pleasing in the eyes of Jesus.

“Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities. Let’s celebrate together!” Matthew 25:23 (NLT)”

Yahoo..madame pa daw blessings si Lord!
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Chuck and I met up with Sally Sunday night after our badminton game- grabee…our whole body ached but then we managed to pull ourselves to meet Sally and see her joy buying her new pair of Charles & Keith boots. Don’t worry dear, I will carry it straight to Sydney and i know you can’t wait to use them, good for the month -end when you return from your vacation! I also did my shopping for Gracy’s LACOSTE…Nakaka -tempt tong mga babaeng ito. Ewan ko ba..nakakatanggal talaga ng stress ang shopping. i hate you shopping—nakakaaubos ka din ng pera!!! nyahhahaha!
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My stocks are not doing good now. In red= duguan.
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My life is painted in beautiful colors because I want it bright!
It’s a choice at the end of the day, although there are days that you ain’t have much of a choice. Living in the moment. Enjoying down time!

My family and myself is visiting HK. Another traveling experience and thank you, God.
We are looking forward to this trip with much anticipation especially Chy.

Independence
She sort of enjoyed the independence she has now having her own bedroom. Brave and really trying to be independent, I can’t help but appreciate much of the person she has become.

Continue to be brave little one. I am very proud of you.

Birthday.
It is Chuck’s 32nd birthday tomorrow. Parang kailan lang, nasa Kindergarten kameng dalawa, and ending up with him is a humongous blessing. The Lord beautifully designed our fate, I am proud of the couple that we have become and the relationship that we cultivated. It is not perfect, will never be but we have grown and somehow weathered the odds——I am very happy of our life together, I hope he is too

I love you, my partner, my bestfriend, not my all but definitely my love.

I can’t wait but think of it and plan for it.
What hotel to book, where and basically what to do in our 4 days stay.
I have Disneyland, Macau, Ocean Park, etc….
Suggestions anyone?

So, while thinking of Macau, can’t take my eyes off from this photo taken by Boyette in our recent trip to Batam. I am inclined to live this way eventually. Peace and quiet life. Indeed, there is no price tag to peace of mind. I will continue to choose to be happy , live this life in LOVE. Shove away the odds.

I thank God for the good life & health He provided for me and my family. I am very very very blessed.

Many Thanks to people who never seemed to give up on me.
Majority of these ———- is represented by my husband.

The guy who can’t give up on being a child. Hehhehehe..

For the things you have sacrificed for me————-i wish you could hang in there, no matter what.

It is not your birthday yet, so am not going to greet you till next month and we celebrate your day in Hongkong!

I was tinkering something from home yesterday during my day off and give me ample time to talk to myself again. Being alone in my place is freedom!

And a beautiful realization came to mind.
How beautiful it is being a mother. I actually cannot explain the feeling, so let me fill my senses to my own experience of having a mom.

For Mama:
Dear Mom,

Thanks for keeping me in your prayers. I know that you continue to pray for me, my well being, and my future.

Please do not worry about our future, God’s plans are permanently inked to it. Don’t worry, am not a big spender any more, I have been saving a lot lately that despite being a spender, not any more beyond my means.

I want you to relax. It is OK to splurge and enjoy the harvest of our good labor—-and you must learn how to chill out. Do not worry about your house renovation, your house will be lovely soon. I mean, I consider it lovely. It is not the house mom, it is the warmth you put forth to it that kept me from coming back. It is the warmth, the kindness, the unconditional love, you have surrounded our home through these years. You have generously shared our haven to our friends & family and wish I could go home more often. A mother always is the special ingredient in keeping such a lovely home.

I wish to have your coolness- the seemingly no amount of intense temper. Your genuine appreciation of what matters and your love for organization and design. Well, I am very much aware that you have moved from green curtains to more vivacious color combinations now. Thankful that you have moved the furniture at the sides to make our living room look spacious. Hahhahha…

I am forever grateful that God has chosen you to be my mother, I am proud of me because of you. Yes, mostly because I am raised by such a wonderful mother!

I love you.

( this photo was taken last November 2009 during her birthday celebrated at Singapore while I was in US)

For my mom-in -law
I knew you are not alright and I could tell from your voice when we were catching up the other day. Hold on ma, you will visit Singapore soon and I promise you shopping. Maybe all in purple shade right? I know that it is hard –what you presently go through but know that I understand given that I have my first hand experience of the matter. It is indeed tough that somehow your joy is incomplete. Your peace is not restored. And there somehow things you could contradict with but you couldn’t express.

I am forever thankful of your presence in my life and how very lucky I am to have a mom in law that ain’t complicated to be with . I love you.

( photo taken last Dec 2009 in celebration of her wedding anniversary)

Cheers to motherhood!!!!

I can’t wait to convert our living room to a real one!
I told Chuck, we should spend more time in our living room. I always like airy atmosphere and a homey , pleasant feeling. It is not new to me as my family back in Bohol spends most of our siesta bonding in our living room.

I want my living room ALIVE and I would like to be AT Home to it!

IKEA…..i see you.

Yay! can’t wait. Can’t take my eyes off of you.

I chose to be surrounded by positive, happy persons is because- I am a weakling myself. I tend to get consumed by negative energies around me–which is not good. I have tried to act very strong when circumstances arise but there are stuffs in life —meant to go off. I am yet to master the art.

Perhaps, that is the reason why, for some disturbing circumstance, I have given up on someone. I thought I could carry on. But then, like anyone else, I am a work in progress. I am not ready with the nega just yet.

PS. Mga saputon ug mga feeling importante- ang hirap pakisamahan.

to look forward to.
Frankly, the money is a different story- of course, it is important to pay off bills and operational expenses here in Singapore. I enjoy the cheap foodie, cheap groceries, cheap transpo . Don’ t get me wrong . Singapore is not cheap in terms of survival. But with me and Chuck working together to pull resources, we have enough to survive. Send Chy to school, generously share and plan for our future.

So, right now, am not stopping the train yet. Am just taking a detour for 2 weeks and will be back on track.
I wanted to clear my mind on what to do for the 2 weeks that I will be off to pamper myself. I will be busy——-and this is how I pamper myself.

1. Arrange my closet. It’s been messy these past days. My bags are everywhere. My clothes need to be properly categorized so I could see everybody——ahihihihi. I will be doing some unloading too.

2. I will visit IKEA for some home stuffs…I want to transform our living room. Put serenity effect to it. A rug maybe and do some color coordination. Whatever my budget could afford.

That is in the assumption that I get the flat on our own & rule over it. I am such a cruel ruler even dada cannot comprehend. Hahhaha… Can’t wait to see it homey. yay!

3. Catch up with my moments alone. I will run!

Oh yeah..I just miss myself. I will be very intimate with myself. I owe it to her.

My Chy is back to school mode and has fully recovered from cough, fever and colds.
It must be the weather. So extremely hot in the morning and raining hard in the afternoon.

I have recovered too.

Ready na ko magluto…harharharhar…
I need to be perked up and focus on positive thoughts……….again ( like I used to be)

of Cheyenne’s caretaker. Please good heavens hear me.
I need someone to look closely on her now. She needs close monitoring. I need her full health back. Haaaay….
I am so irritated of other kid’s stupid un-hygienic practice. I can’t let my daughter go on like this. She needs to eat the food she likes which I believe are healthy stuffs. I just can’t go on like this.

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The good heavens answered my call. My sister Naksi is coming to Singapore soon!
Thank you, dear!
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Alright, I need a new flat! Oh, my …we have finally grown here in SG. But one thing to pray for—-for Pemz job to get confirmed and so I will finally move over to a new place. I indeed have loads of stuffs running through my mind. I need to offload. I am overwhelmed.
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On another note, I thank my guts sometimes but this fearless guts also leads me to trouble. I am in horrible CONFUSION.
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In conclusion, I am in definite need of Chy’s caretaker and perhaps mine? ( Lord, please show me the way, I know you have the answers in the right time)

Started explaining to Chy what Happy Easter is all about. I am more than thankful I have a very witty little girl-she did all the shopping last Thursday. Too elated of her white high heeled Princess Belle shoe. My wonderful!

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I do not know why one cannot be consistently happy, I am a believer of happy thoughts, positive thinking and joyful disposition. But there will always be some spoilers. My moods
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So, I did get a renewed feeling after I attended the mass last Sunday. The praise songs always change and led me to a different perspective. I hope , I could stay that way forever - overwhelmed of God’s love and believe that HE is ENOUGH. My faith!

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Why is it difficult to decipher that it is our individual responsibility to change for the better. My Goal!
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It seemed to me that in telling in TRUTH, you’ve got to hurt somebody first. Strange. Wishing that one day, they will get the value of your HONESTY. My Thoughts!
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And lift up to God all the emotions, decisions that I am bound to make one of these days. My Fate!
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( got this from Emy’s facebook notes)

when we are too well-pleased with ourselves
when our dreams have come true because we dreamed too little, because we sailed too close to shore.

Disturb us, O Lord

when with the abundance of things we possess,
we have lost our thirst for the water of life
when, having fallen in love with time,
we have ceased to dream of eternity
and in our efforts to build a new earth,
we have allowed our vision of Heaven to grow dim.

Stir us, O Lord

to dare more boldly, to venture into wider seas
where storms show Thy mastery,
where losing sight of land, we shall find the stars.

In the name of Him who pushed back the horizons of our hopes
and invited the brave to follow.

Amen.

By Sir Francis Drake, who along with being a sixteenth century explorer, adventurer, and legal pirate was also the first Englishman to circumnavigate the globe. He wrote this prayer during a voyage.

Obviously , I liked it.

others are not, I will still love Mother Earth!

I tried. I wasn’t really good at it at first but the more awareness I bring into it, it become part of my being. I used to turn on our AC at 19 degrees temperature but not anymore. I have moved it to 24, which I find very appropriate. I saved energy and helped mother Earth. I wish I don’t need to turn it on but it is just too hot in SG.

The other night, my daughter asked me ” Ma, can I turn on the AC now? ” I can’t believe it, I sort of pass over to her my earth love movement. ” Oh, yeah, it is 9 pm , pls turn it ON” and I closed the windows.

I am hoping that—-others will be urged to change for the better. Try conserve WATER. See, am not over this whining. C’mon, you can’t wash 3 pieces yesterday and turn the machine on for another 6 pcs today.

Am I just so unfair? or I can’t just stop to care?
I believe though that there is hope to change. Like the transformation I went through. Mag effort ka naman Please………