These past days, I am a busy woman, and made me miss Chy so much. Chy inspired me everyday, the way she smiles and calls me “mama” refreshes me. We surf the net together learning her ABC’s….we play colors, dance together and taking pictures. But these days, I spent less of my time with her as I transition to this new role in LIfe. I will be Supervisor starting 1st of January- a role am not sure if I am ready of. With Gracy’s superb skills as a Leader-am not sure if I am capable of sustaining. My prayer is Guidance from God that He provide me the wisdom to decide on what to do in every situation, easy or difficult. I want to enjoy my role and lead the path for each staff, I may not have all the answers to their questions, but I hope I could give enlightenment to them.

This prayer gave me HOPE- “If there is anything you need, pray for it, asking God for it in prayer and thanksgiving.” – Philippians 4: 6– 7

i need more of myself …more of me…so I could share …..
build a strong character within me so I could illuminate…..
i have no time for selfishness, for this role demands more of me. …
no time for ifs and buts…” just do it” attitude is much needed now.

i will allow myself to grow…grow..grow…

=Chy’s Art: Violet Horse=

My reflection:

I praise God for putting all things in perspective. He knows the best time, and the best time is now for you to move on career wise. I know that it was partly for us that you settled to come back home despite uncertainties and now the Lord is answering your prayers, just the right time when Chy remembers you. She has all the mem’ries. She keeps it by HEART. I will help her hold it close.

chy and bestpren Barney (dada’s Malaysia pasalubong)

Last weekend, I have started my first few steps and just like a baby, am kinda lost. Agie is a great support , feeding me and Cesar information to keep us inspired.

Am inspired actually, but I am lost of my time. Have been very busy with office stuffs, I am starting to get the SUP load. It is kinda weird but trying to be in it, and the Lord I always count on, so I will SURVIVE!

I guess I will because I am always inspired. While writing this entry, my daughter and Dada is singing at the background, have to hurry then, will share the mic with them, perhaps the MOST important of all my ROLES.

I prioritize and I know which comes FIRST. Chy agrees and so I deserve a SMACK..

-Singing Contest-
I wish I have that great voice so I will be comfortable enough to join the SSSC Idol, and since we all agreed that it’ll be a katuwaan stuff for everyone, so I gave in for a P500 consolidation prize for my team’s merienda- they commit to hit me with tomatoes and fabulous applause.

Anyway, until now I still couldn’t decide which song will fit me well- right now I decided for Julie Andrew’s, Favorite Things. Bahala na si batman.

this dream lingers on today….

it will take a lot of gathering, organizing and money-earning.

just like starting anew.

i will seriously think about it over the weekend. money is a big factor now but I think we will have people we can run to who will be willing to help- sana nga papa Lord..

oh, Lord, this heart is in brink of digress- unsure of which way to go. Sounds corny, but I need this one


“could you give me a SIGN?”
I will be waiting………..

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”- John 16:33

Today, I hold this verse by heart, I know that the Lord is holding on me too. Thank you God that amidst these world of fears and insecurities, you are there for us.

Knowing that you are with us, I know I could overcome all the troubles that may come my way.

I will assume the Supervisory role come January, I am ambivalent of this promotion- just like the previous promotions I had. I still couldn’t decipher why I am having this odd feeling. Although I thank the Lord for charging me this new role of much higher responsibility and powers- a much deeper meaning is coming ….I just know…

Now, I am not quite sure if I would still like to pursue Singapore next year.

My current Sup is moving to Australia next year as an immigrant- am so happy for her, her wishes are coming true! Here’s a glimpse of some fun-fun-fun —we had at the office in celebration of her bday last May. I will not forget the kindness and good examples you gave to me Gracy, a very INTELLIGENT woman and of good virtues. I respect her!

Today, I will write to my Chuck just like the College Years

I missed calling you mine…..but now that we are finally side by side and hold until our skin entertwined, have I been so forgetful, that I could still call you mine even if all these years, you were.
You were mine since kindergarten, the first time I laid my eyes on you. You were mine in high-school, the first time we kissed. You were mine after college, when we dreamed together.
These past days, i see sadness running through your worried Eyes. Have you been regretful- that you are Home instead of an overseas assignment. Do you remorse that you listened to me? Have I been so selfish to think of my needs over yours?
Yesterday, I asked if you are bored of your state, and you said a “yes”. I HuGGed you and Kissed you several times and inside how I wished…how I wished…that I could revive the ENTHUSIASM you once had.
Please Chuck…realize the many undeserved grace you have now…>>>>>>>I wish I could lay down your alternatives..but please FIND it….Bring back Your LIFE>>>>>Go, go, after it…

I am so sorry for the many times I acted so peevish- I was expecting to see maturity in you, but I failed to realize that I couldn’t let you the man I expect you to be, as your wife, I will wait till your day comes- the day when you finally see that growth and progress is not manifested through work experience, salary and position. For me, growth is the many times we conquered our ordeals as couple, as parent to our kids, as a son/daughter to our parents, as a bro/sis to our sibs, as a friend, and as a fellow creature inhabiting Planet Earth.
There are so many roles we need to portray, hats to wear, our success lies on how we perform our act. But please do not let people measure your feat and use their standards. No one has the right, not even me- so please don’t be annoyed.

I will wait for it Chuck, I am sure your angels will show the charted way for you. Today, before coming to work, I thank you for holding me so tight, kissed me and said “goodbye”.
Such moment, I won’t relinquish to anyone.

Was browsing tonight and red news came my way, I am honored to have found a soul who endeavors to pro-create a wonderful world.

My prayers fly with theirs.

I rejoice, my heart rests in peaceful slumber.

tiny acquisition. i am excited!!! my new small acquisition came today, a tiny dresser for my clothes, and for the weekend, I will be busy sorting out and unloading………it is going to be Christmas time, its sharing time.

more Quality time. and spending more time with the people i love most is the best thing I look forward to this weekend. My beautiful daughter has grown so much now, acquired so much from the world, I want to share more of me to her while she is growing, and so I invest more of my Quality Time, more of Me.

I love you both, the chambers of my heart shouts for it so LOUDLY.

When a piece of you seemed to disappear- you tried hard to search for it. And when it is there, you tend to ignore its mere presence; asking for more, expecting things that weren’t there in the first place. So human of me, and so weak of me to be like HUMAN>>>>I refuse to be weak.

I am not sure where this simple epistle will lead me but I just want to free up something that sizzles. why all of a sudden, I struggle…Struggling for my selfish PRIDE>< <>

Cloudy
Suddenly, your world seemed cloudy, because your spirits are in damp. I am as damp as hell.

Help me pray like a child again…so my Soul may rest.

And Lord, when i get home today, teach me to say Sorry to my shortcomings, and the eyes of my Heart may learn to see what is essential.